Better Days Ahead

I'm a 45 year old woman who is on an adventure to discover the purpose in all the trials and tribulations I have gone through. As I'm trying to discover what James says, "Consider it nothing but joy my bretheren when you go through many trials, that the testing of your faith [through experience] produces endurance [leading to spiritual maturity, and inner peace]. 4 And let endurance have its perfect result and do a thorough work, so that you may be perfect and completely developed [in your faith], lacking in nothing.
I have two wonderful children and lost my husband Rob on April 19, 2014. I live in my father and step mother's home and was taking care of my step mother until she passed just recently on March 22nd. My father works away and is hardly even here. My 24 year old son who was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder moved back with us last year, but seems to be not suffering delusions currently. My 15 year old daughter was in and out of behavioral health programs last year and failed 7th grade. We had quite a fight with the school who took us to truancy court for her absences. We now have more peace because she is home schooling online with a self-pace school. I am currently questioning what I should do to support my family, but wasn't able to due to caring for my sick stepmother. I have a dream to one day be self-employed. I just feel I need to get through the hurdles that seem to keep me back. So That is what this blog is about. I'm trying to find out what fears and mindsets keep me bound and keep me from pursuing my dreams. I can do all things through Christ who strenghtens me.

Saturday, October 09, 2010

Finding Contentment

Today I have been resting and listening to music via YouTube.  I love YouTube.  God gives me a song in my heart and I just search it and play it.  I was thinking on Philippians 4:13 Amp. "I have strength for all things in Christ Who empowers me (I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him Who infuses inner strength into me: I am self-sufficient in Christ's sufficiency)"  I am only sufficient through Christ who strengthens me.  I cannot do it in my own strength.  I trade His dying on the cross for my sin, my shame, my sickness.  By His stripes I am healed.  When do we fall short?  When we don't spend time basking in God's presence.  We are empty and need to be filled.  We all have that God shaped hole inside that only God can fill.  We can't fill it with chocolate, brownies, smoking, drinking or even sex.  God is the only one who can complete us.  The person in that movie with Tom Cruise got it wrong.  They were saying another person completed them.  We can't complete each other.  My spouse isn't my better half.  We are complete as we spend time in God's word and walking out our own souls salvation with fear and trembling.  God does and can equip us to do what we have to do.  We need times of quiet with God.  We need to be refreshed and renewed.  Spending time with loved ones is great, but we need to seek our creator.  He has the answers to how to treat our spouse how our attitude should be toward our family and co-workers.  I will be still and know you are God.  You have all my loved ones in your hand.  I was singing this song with my daughter this week right before we got some bad news that a loved one was in the hospital.  We had just mentioned their name in the song.  I found myself comforted in knowing God has the whole world in His hands.  I don't need to control things I can't.  It is great to just be and not have to feel like I have to have all the answers.  God has the healing he has our answers.  We need to tell our souls to be still.  We need to command ourselves not to be shaken, fearful for our God is more than the whole world against us.  God is love and His perfect love casts out all fear.  Goodnight and God bless!!

No comments:

Post a Comment