Better Days Ahead

I'm a 45 year old woman who is on an adventure to discover the purpose in all the trials and tribulations I have gone through. As I'm trying to discover what James says, "Consider it nothing but joy my bretheren when you go through many trials, that the testing of your faith [through experience] produces endurance [leading to spiritual maturity, and inner peace]. 4 And let endurance have its perfect result and do a thorough work, so that you may be perfect and completely developed [in your faith], lacking in nothing.
I have two wonderful children and lost my husband Rob on April 19, 2014. I live in my father and step mother's home and was taking care of my step mother until she passed just recently on March 22nd. My father works away and is hardly even here. My 24 year old son who was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder moved back with us last year, but seems to be not suffering delusions currently. My 15 year old daughter was in and out of behavioral health programs last year and failed 7th grade. We had quite a fight with the school who took us to truancy court for her absences. We now have more peace because she is home schooling online with a self-pace school. I am currently questioning what I should do to support my family, but wasn't able to due to caring for my sick stepmother. I have a dream to one day be self-employed. I just feel I need to get through the hurdles that seem to keep me back. So That is what this blog is about. I'm trying to find out what fears and mindsets keep me bound and keep me from pursuing my dreams. I can do all things through Christ who strenghtens me.

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

He Borne Our Grief

He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.
Isaiah 53:3-4 KJV

Jesus is called the man of sorrows. He is well acquanted with grief and suffering. We just need to let Him do His job. We need to allow Him to have all our grief we have no use for it it actually can make us useless in building His kingdom. We need to choose if we will serve God or our emotions. It is the same with guilt. We can give it all to Jesus because He said He already paid the price for it and we are debt free!

Sunday, June 01, 2014

It takes work, practice, learning, prayer, resources and grace to overcome the fear of failure. Not confronting our fears denies the grace of God and insults both his giving of the gifts and his grace to sustain us as we are learning.
(author unknown)

I found this quote while looking for something today. Don't you love how God puts things in our path at the precise time when we need them. I am seeking help and in prayer with a wonderful woman of God this morning, God reminded me of the above quote. I just know it was him that had his angels to put it back in my view. I moved last March into my parents home and it had to be God helping me find it again. I can't seem to find any thing. When I had my apartment I almost knew where most things were. This was written out in my own pen and I had hung inside my kitchen cabinet. I remember having this moment of clarity that this was my key the thing I had been missing in my need to grow. We need God's grace despirately, because I know for myself I get in His way all the time. I try to fix myself. I see something I don't like about my life and where it is going and try to read as much on that subject as possible. I know I was missing the practice doing what I need to be doing and praying in faith knowing that God would make the planns He has for me and my life succeed.