Better Days Ahead

I'm a 45 year old woman who is on an adventure to discover the purpose in all the trials and tribulations I have gone through. As I'm trying to discover what James says, "Consider it nothing but joy my bretheren when you go through many trials, that the testing of your faith [through experience] produces endurance [leading to spiritual maturity, and inner peace]. 4 And let endurance have its perfect result and do a thorough work, so that you may be perfect and completely developed [in your faith], lacking in nothing.
I have two wonderful children and lost my husband Rob on April 19, 2014. I live in my father and step mother's home and was taking care of my step mother until she passed just recently on March 22nd. My father works away and is hardly even here. My 24 year old son who was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder moved back with us last year, but seems to be not suffering delusions currently. My 15 year old daughter was in and out of behavioral health programs last year and failed 7th grade. We had quite a fight with the school who took us to truancy court for her absences. We now have more peace because she is home schooling online with a self-pace school. I am currently questioning what I should do to support my family, but wasn't able to due to caring for my sick stepmother. I have a dream to one day be self-employed. I just feel I need to get through the hurdles that seem to keep me back. So That is what this blog is about. I'm trying to find out what fears and mindsets keep me bound and keep me from pursuing my dreams. I can do all things through Christ who strenghtens me.

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Don't Play Dead

by Gloria Copeland (Kenneth Copeland Ministries)

– Matthew 11:12

The Amplified Bible says, "A share in the heavenly kingdom is sought with most ardent zeal and intense exertion."

I want you to get violent today. Yes, violent, determined, zealous. I want you to get so committed to the things of God that you'll withstand any attempt to take them away from you. Too many believers these days are like the Israelites. They're wandering around in a wilderness of defeat because there's an enemy in the Promised Land. They're being robbed of their rightful inheritance because they're afraid to fight him. They keep hoping that somehow they'll find a way in without using force. But they won't! You have to make demands where Satan and his associates are concerned.

When God sent the Israelites into Canaan, He said, "Send the armed men to go before you." They were to go up armed--ready for the fight. He knew they'd have to fight to take the land. He never promised them that they wouldn't. What He promised them was they'd win every time. The same is true for you. You can't just lie down and play dead when you're dealing with the devil. He's not going to let go of any area of your life--of your health or your finances or anything else--without a fight. He's not going to give it up unless you force him.

Quit sitting there in the wilderness. Quit sitting there while the devil steals the blessings of God out from under you. You have God's permission and His power and His ability to take the land. Get violent enough to do something about!

Scripture Reading: Deuteronomy 31:1-8

This was along with a Praise Jam I went to last night was inspiring.  I haven't been fighting.  I think I've been just standing there letting the devil get his punches in and I just am taking it.  I need to fight.  But no weapon that is formed against you shall prosper, and every tongue that shall rise against you in judgment you shall show to be in the wrong. This [peace, righteousness, security, triumph over opposition] is the heritage of the servants of the Lord [those in whom the ideal Servant of the Lord is reproduced]; this is the righteousness or the vindication which they obtain from Me [this is that which I impart to them as their justification], says the Lord (Isaiah 54:17).  Scripture will get me through.  I need to stop being so lazy and confess out of my mouth.  I need to get up earlier and confess.  I need to stop making excuses.  I think I need to tell my son to only come during day.  I need my morning with the Lord.  I am praying about another job I might be offered.  I hope they don't count me out because I said to start off with I couldn't work 7 days.  I don't even know what all the job entails, but I do know it will be an early morning shift.  If the money is the same I'm making at McDonald's I will take it.  I will give my notice and quit McDonalds  I am so unhappy there.  I know they won't want me to leave, but it is taking a toll on my body.  To be standing on my feet for 6 hours straight and sometimes getting a 15 min break.  I know I'm carrying a lot of extra weight.  I need to get back to the doctors and see if I can somehow get into Virtua's.  Well I believe it is a start.  Trouble don't last always.

Saturday, October 09, 2010

Finding Contentment

Today I have been resting and listening to music via YouTube.  I love YouTube.  God gives me a song in my heart and I just search it and play it.  I was thinking on Philippians 4:13 Amp. "I have strength for all things in Christ Who empowers me (I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him Who infuses inner strength into me: I am self-sufficient in Christ's sufficiency)"  I am only sufficient through Christ who strengthens me.  I cannot do it in my own strength.  I trade His dying on the cross for my sin, my shame, my sickness.  By His stripes I am healed.  When do we fall short?  When we don't spend time basking in God's presence.  We are empty and need to be filled.  We all have that God shaped hole inside that only God can fill.  We can't fill it with chocolate, brownies, smoking, drinking or even sex.  God is the only one who can complete us.  The person in that movie with Tom Cruise got it wrong.  They were saying another person completed them.  We can't complete each other.  My spouse isn't my better half.  We are complete as we spend time in God's word and walking out our own souls salvation with fear and trembling.  God does and can equip us to do what we have to do.  We need times of quiet with God.  We need to be refreshed and renewed.  Spending time with loved ones is great, but we need to seek our creator.  He has the answers to how to treat our spouse how our attitude should be toward our family and co-workers.  I will be still and know you are God.  You have all my loved ones in your hand.  I was singing this song with my daughter this week right before we got some bad news that a loved one was in the hospital.  We had just mentioned their name in the song.  I found myself comforted in knowing God has the whole world in His hands.  I don't need to control things I can't.  It is great to just be and not have to feel like I have to have all the answers.  God has the healing he has our answers.  We need to tell our souls to be still.  We need to command ourselves not to be shaken, fearful for our God is more than the whole world against us.  God is love and His perfect love casts out all fear.  Goodnight and God bless!!