Better Days Ahead

I'm a 45 year old woman who is on an adventure to discover the purpose in all the trials and tribulations I have gone through. As I'm trying to discover what James says, "Consider it nothing but joy my bretheren when you go through many trials, that the testing of your faith [through experience] produces endurance [leading to spiritual maturity, and inner peace]. 4 And let endurance have its perfect result and do a thorough work, so that you may be perfect and completely developed [in your faith], lacking in nothing.
I have two wonderful children and lost my husband Rob on April 19, 2014. I live in my father and step mother's home and was taking care of my step mother until she passed just recently on March 22nd. My father works away and is hardly even here. My 24 year old son who was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder moved back with us last year, but seems to be not suffering delusions currently. My 15 year old daughter was in and out of behavioral health programs last year and failed 7th grade. We had quite a fight with the school who took us to truancy court for her absences. We now have more peace because she is home schooling online with a self-pace school. I am currently questioning what I should do to support my family, but wasn't able to due to caring for my sick stepmother. I have a dream to one day be self-employed. I just feel I need to get through the hurdles that seem to keep me back. So That is what this blog is about. I'm trying to find out what fears and mindsets keep me bound and keep me from pursuing my dreams. I can do all things through Christ who strenghtens me.

Friday, January 27, 2012

Trusting in God

Psalm 25

New Living Translation (NLT)
Psalm 25
Psalm 25[a]
A psalm of David.

1 O LORD, I give my life to you.
2 I trust in you, my God!
Do not let me be disgraced,
or let my enemies rejoice in my defeat.
3 No one who trusts in you will ever be disgraced,
but disgrace comes to those who try to deceive others.
4 Show me the right path, O LORD;
point out the road for me to follow.
5 Lead me by your truth and teach me,
for you are the God who saves me.
All day long I put my hope in you.
6 Remember, O LORD, your compassion and unfailing love,
which you have shown from long ages past.
7 Do not remember the rebellious sins of my youth.
Remember me in the light of your unfailing love,
for you are merciful, O LORD.
8 The LORD is good and does what is right;
he shows the proper path to those who go astray.
9 He leads the humble in doing right,
teaching them his way.
10 The LORD leads with unfailing love and faithfulness
all who keep his covenant and obey his demands.
11 For the honor of your name, O LORD,
forgive my many, many sins.
12 Who are those who fear the LORD?
He will show them the path they should choose.
13 They will live in prosperity,
and their children will inherit the land.
14 The LORD is a friend to those who fear him.
He teaches them his covenant.
15 My eyes are always on the LORD,
for he rescues me from the traps of my enemies.
16 Turn to me and have mercy,
for I am alone and in deep distress.
17 My problems go from bad to worse.
Oh, save me from them all!
18 Feel my pain and see my trouble.
Forgive all my sins.
19 See how many enemies I have
and how viciously they hate me!
20 Protect me! Rescue my life from them!
Do not let me be disgraced, for in you I take refuge.
21 May integrity and honesty protect me,
for I put my hope in you.
22 O God, ransom Israel
from all its troubles.

These word bring comfort to me. I had been astray. I am clawing inching my way back. I was in darkness, but God has brought me back to the light. We try to hide but no where can we go without God seeing us. He keeps calling us as deep calls unto deep to awaken from our sleep don't be blinded. TD Jakes was on the other nite and he was talking about the accounts in the bible where Jesus healed more that were blind. I pray that the enemy that is blinding my husband get off in Jesus name. He doesn't have to live in the dark anymore. When truth about ourselves is reveiled it does take sometime for us to digest. Joyce Meyers recently blessed me because I was told I was stubborn and to clean my hands from what sin I was doing. I immediately was upset. It caused me to feel like I needed encouragement and instead I got corrected. I immediately left the meeting took Carly home and stopped and bought a pack of cigarettes like in defiance. I was only hurting myself. I guess I am still licking my wounds. It blessed me when Joyce testified to getting angry at God and her husband when correction was brought to her. I can say now I know in my heart that God corrects those he loves and wants them to come up higher. We cannot get away with things if we are called to do great things to give God Glory!! We must put away lying cheating, stealling back biting. Our sin will be coming to the light and be reveiled and if God has to if you aren't listening to him bring your sin out in public where it is embarrasing you to correct.

I know God is calling us to stop playing church and be real. I like one church sign I saw. It said, "No perfect people allowed". I find that keeps me from doing things. Like journalling and sharing the gospel with others. I feel I'm not perfect and cannot. I pray I will get over this stronghold. It is time to get back to listening to my teaching tapes and confessing my I walk out of failure prayers. Thank you Lord for caring and loving me enough to correct me.

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